Got this from my Uni housing services newsletter....hilarious...
How to Write a College Paper
How to Write a College Paper
- Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
- Check your email
- Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it
- Walk down to the vending machine, and buy some coffee to help you concentrate
- Check your email
- Check up on your friend if she has started writing the paper or not. If not, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double spaced and bound in one of those irritating see thought plastic folders, drop her
- When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils
- Read over the assignment again to make certain you absolutely understand it
- Check your email
- Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror
- Listen to your favourite tape, and that's it, seriously, as soon as its over you are gonna start writing that paper
- Listen to the other side of the tape
- Check your email
- Rearrange all your CD's in alphabetical order
- Phone one of your friends and ask if she's started writing the paper as yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the college, the world at large
- Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils
- Check your email
- Check the newspaper listings to make sure you haven't missed anything truly worthwhile on TV. Note: When you have less than 12hrs, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to "Sgt. Preston of the Yukon" is worthwhile.
- Look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror
- Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
- Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
- Open your door and check if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall
- Check your email
- Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils
- Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it
- Scoot your chair across to the window and watch the sunrise
- Lie face down on the floor and moan
- Check your email
- Leap up and write the paper
- Type the paper, and while you're at it, check your email
- Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that darn paper
About me
- I'm adi
- From Perth, WA, Australia
- More bout me
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